Monday morning again and a new lock down starts on Thursday. I had a strangely unproductive week looking back on it. Monday and spent the afternoon at Pitsmoor with Tom. We worked really slowly and I tried to show him how to use a few tools and cut wood. He was sad and I carried a bit of this weight with me- it slowed us down a bit. Tuesday I went to Highfields playground and looked at the potential new build for them. It is interesting as I can't make this part of my PhD study it is a trajectory but not a useful one. We worked at the playground in the afternoon in the rain and it was a bit miserable in the damp. Wednesday I worked the morning with Bryn we were basically fitting some rope sides to the ramp I had been reading Tim Ingolds book about Dewey in the morning and can't work out if its useful or a distraction or a useful distraction. Afternoon was the PGR drop in I felt like an old lag but also a little like a con artist that would be found out
Wednesday afternoon was mainly online stuff with Kate and then the PgR drop in. Thursday was writing group and Nigel came back - this is the best bit of the week as it feels like something me and River have taken on and I think it is a really good thing for everyone trying to write. each time I try and explain the complexity of what I'm writing about I feel a bit silly. I did a proper days writing on my methods sections and sent it to Kate and Laura. I was relatively pleased with it especially the bit about Custard and sauce anglais, I felt a little stupid by writing the wrong source - original pirate material - my dyslexic mistakes are sometimes the origins of interesting world play. Exegesis a word I've struggled to get near enough for spell check to find came up as Exit Jesus on my transcription software which has both helped me to remember the word and made me chuckle. I know I have a certain talent for a certain type of writing and am adaptable yet the lack of grasp of some of the basics is a raw window of vulnerability within academic writing - I do not know or understand the sauce of my problem but its not saucy or to make an academic joke a problem with Saussure.
Friday and Saturday I showed films at the playground - I talked to Zac and Bryn about the nature of time and remembered I wanted to read the 1930s exchange between Bergson and Einstein which was big news at the time I think this is another distraction.
On Friday I was given a bottle of Rum for projecting the films today I have bought Bryn an impact driver for all his help - I could write about Gifts - I may do in my field notes but what is interesting to say here is that the gifts should not become representations in text. This is a thought that is bubbling under the surface this week - like the best art that can never be captured within documentation because the fact is you have to experience it first hand. There is something in the way I'm thinking that is to hold things within their semblance and not move to resemblance or representation. It is this I think that research creation can offer foundationaly and it is within this difficulty I may be able to say something original, at least to me.
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