Frayed at the edges

 My friend Gary just said I looked a little frayed at the edges, perhaps this is what happens when you try too hard to make a raveling.  My black nail is slowly growing out, like the cut on my finger the transformation is always slightly slower than expected but luckily it is inevitable, like entropy.  

 In late October I had a good week of writing then it got busy and it's kept busy since.  I should probably of managed the odd half day of writing but somehow I never got to sit down and get some focus.  I had a good supervision with Kate on Monday she is coaching me to think I am further on than I am, I know I'm not though, the bounce has gone from my bungee.

I've done no writing for two weeks and I've just eaten a double-Decker.  We have a plumber in fitting a new boiler and the dog is slightly mad, he doesn't like the long term intrusion or the noise.   Kate says I should decide my fieldwork is finished and start to look at what I have that is as Boris Johnson says 'oven ready".  Like the Brexit deal its about as oven ready as a chicken running around the farm yard, feathers, neck and innards intact. 

 I'm relatively happy though its nice to have a few bits and bobs of other stuff -arty, creative work.  I know my knowledge and thinking have moved on in leaps over the last couple of years yet my practice has suffered.   I have felt the little bubble of abstract confidence gradually slip away.  Non-sense was so much more fun before I started to read what Deleuze had to say about it.  Nobody drew attention too or cared about what was opaque until I read Glissant. Opacity was just there fizzing in the background, the pop pressurized with potential in the bottle before the introduction of a Minto. 

Life moves forward and changes happen and I can't regret my deep dive into theory or the privilege and joys of doing something slightly different for a few years.  The changes are ringing in now though and I'm thinking a bit more about the future.  At the very least the PhD thinking and writing will need to be contained somehow and the paid work and thinking forwards will really need to happen.

Kate was good at the supervision to remind me that I will need to have something ready to submit by the summer of next year but I am not going to start to worry too much just yet. 

I'm going out now to project on a giant Starling