In the time it has taken me to get back to writing this blog the winter storm outside my window has subsided and the sun is breaking through the cloud. Gods golden fingers are stroking the freshly mowed grass in our garden. I have cut it for the last time this year and run the mower out of petrol so it does not lose its volatility over the winter months. Septembers warmth seems to have lasted an eternity and I am still wearing my shorts, though more from habit than good sense.
It is 12 days since my last post and it has really been a time of recovery. I have done a few things including a planning session at the playground about animating the loose parts area. I have days booked in the diary, events unfolding. I started to make a film with the young people to try and promote what the playground does. This was nice and easy and felt fresh but it can't form part of my research. It has to sit outside, but it is a good reminder of what we are missing. It is clear to me that I can't use film as data and work ethically within research. The intention of my art/research is opaque, there is no real way to predict where it may end up so there is no ethical way to ask for informed consent. I find this decision quite liberating and as ever within academic work it gives you something to write about. Making a film and actually working directly with young people on my PhD project feels like it may be impossible. I can live with this and the films and conversations can fizz at the corner of everything - Like a glass of bubbling Berocca to save you from the hangover that it is difficult to wake up from.
Winter is a time for writing. We are moved in now, feeling more at home and each morning when I wake up I am not driven to do a thousand jobs on the new house. To walk down the steps of the old house, to fill the Volvo and to walk up the step of the new house. It felt like 3 months of groundhog days, I kept other things ticking over but lost proper concentration.
Today is Monday morning and its nearly October. I have planned a final two weeks in at the playground finishing with a Halloween light event and then I will be in my writing up period. I keep thinking about how far I have come and the journey of a PhD. I have moved into another stage of life in some ways, the old ways of working had to end as the game of getting funded work was starting to tire me out. I loved the freelance life, I loved its unpredictability but it was always a little stressful and lacked the throughline of thought and practice that I was consistently craving and regularly inventing.
I have a chapter to write about mending the Arial runway at the playground - it is a chapter to capture the spectacular and the mundane and it will be problematic but it is a chapter I'm hoping will act like the kick-starter on a motorbike. I will kick it off and leave it on the stand to tick over so it warms up before shooting off on it and going to the woods. It is a Honda 90 and not a big powerful thing but it is reliable and economic transport that gets you where you need to go. And this is the thing. Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance would not be the same if we replace the Harley Davison with a Honda 90. Although the book does focus on the Zen of motorbike repair there is always something exciting about the bike itself. My contribution to new knowledge will be about maintaining and riding the Honda 90, a step into the mundane and practical everyday of keeping something ticking over. A moped, an adventure-playground, a life.
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